Trust IS Hard

It will probably come as no big surprise that I have trust issues. I don’t think it’s only because I was sexually abused by my father, though I’m sure that didn’t help.

The world makes it hard to trust. People act like our friend, then are beyond cruel to us behind our backs. We are supposed to trust our own families, but you have heard as many stories as I have about untrustworthy family members. We are supposed to be able to trust the leaders of our countries and our states. They repeatedly show they are not to be trusted. Pension funds have been bankrupt by people who are supposed to manage them. People who raise money for needy children steal from their own charities.

In the same vein as the post about people mistaking kindness for weakness, if you are trusting, you can become the perfect victim. The creeps of the world look for people who trust and they prey on them like hyenas on a dying animal. It makes it hard to trust.

Trust is an elusive thing much akin to hope. Most of us are born with it. It is natural. It is normal. It is healthy.

We are told to be trusting and to be weary. How can you have it both ways? I don’t really have any idea how anyone is supposed to do that. I also don’t know how anyone can live without trust, even just a little.

It is one of the both/and conundrums of life. Trust cautiously. Love cautiously. Hope cautiously. No wonder everyone is confused and afraid to trust.

The daily struggle is exhausting. People are overwhelmed. Their hearts tell them to do one thing. Their experience tells them to do something else. Society tells everyone to do something entirely different.

This is hard, especially for anyone who has ever been hurt. I’d say that’s just about everyone.

The best I can say is keep trying. When it’s too hard, take a break, cry, call a friend, treat yourself to a special meal out or go to a movie. Give your heart and your soul a little rest. Take a breath and keep going.

When you find someone to trust, not everything will be perfect all the time. Everyone is a person and people have been damaged by life, just like you. There are times, such as abusive relationships, when trust cannot usually be repaired, but in many relationships, people can work it out and learn to trust each other again, especially if both are truly sorry for their actions and both are willing to try again to be better to each other.

Trust is hard. Life is hard. You deserve to be able to trust. I’m sorry for everyone who ever hurt you and made you thing trust wasn’t real or that you couldn’t find someone worthy of trust. I can’t fix it, but I know you are worth it. You are worth the struggle to get through and try to trust again.  Work on it  and I think you will feel less anxious. I think you may feel more joy. I think, as hard as it is, you may feel more like you.

How has someone worked to regain your trust after they hurt you? How did you sustain yourself through the process?

(This song is actually about Truth. Sometimes in order to trust, we must find someone who can hear our truth. And I did a search for the wrong word, but liked the song anyway. 🙂 )

 

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